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| Helping or Hurting |  |
| Location: Blogs Leanne's Blog |
 | | Posted by: Leanne | 11/6/2007 6:32 PM | To us, as adults, children seem helpless and in need of our assistance. But more important than teaching them that "we" can help them, is teaching them that they can do it themselves! This is what educators refer to as mastery-- allowing children to discover they can do things for themselves. With mastery comes a great sense of pride and teaches children that they are capable people who can tackle difficult tasks and learn to master them!
Allowing children the space and time to learn mastery is difficult these days. We are in such a rush all the time to "get where ever it is we are always going" that it is easier to do for our kids than allow them to do for themselves.
For example, I was at McDonald's the other day and a child was determined to get his shoes on himself and tie them himself. His poor mother was beside herself because he was making them late to pick up his brother from school. She was begging him to let her tie his shoes but he insisted. Finally she just picked him up and carried him to the car saying, "You can tie them in the car!"
What I loved about this mom is that her need to get going did not stop her child from learning to master tieing his shoes. She didn't scold him and tie them for him, rather, she left them undone and allowed him the time he needed. She was very wise!
How many times a day do we "do for" our kids because of our hectic schedules? I hear of parents doing their children's homework so that they can get to dance class on time, constantly harping on their kids to get homework done quickly so that they can enjoy their favorite T.V. show, etc. The schedule is so tight that the children and teens have very little time left to figure out things on their own. Each time this happens and we step in and rescue our children, we rob them of the chance to learn mastery.
I encourage each of us to seriously look at our schedules and see where we can create spaces of downtime where children and teens can have time to learn mastery over the tasks they face. Each time they "do it themselves" whether it be tying their shoe or completing a college application, they are learning how competent they really are.
Let's not allow our schedules stop our children from having the time and space they need to learn mastery! | | | Permalink | Trackback |
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