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| Parent Teacher Conferences...Stress for You, Your Child and the Teacher |  |
| Location: Blogs Leanne's Blog |
 | | Posted by: Leanne | 10/23/2007 2:19 AM | When my son was in first grade I went to the parent teacher conference expecting to hear how wonderful and smart my child was. Instead, I got the shock of my life. His teacher said he had good grades, was very smart, but was the most "obnoxious child" she had ever had in class.
My heart broke, I fought back tears and said nothing. I just sat there trying not to cry. Later my son asked me how the conference went and what the teacher said. I lied and told him that she said he was wonderful and smart.
That night I sat up because I couldn't sleep. I was sort of mad at my son for being obnoxious--why couldn't he be one of the sweet, quiet kids? And I was angry at a teacher who would be so cruel as to tell a mother she had the most obnoxious child in the school.
And then it dawned on me that he probably was needy--his father and I had divorced a year ago, both his grandparents had died and we had moved to a new house and new school only months ago. He wasn't obnoxious, he was beat up, tired, and overwhelmed by all the changes and grief he was experiencing.
The next day I went back to the school and told the teacher all he had been through. She wasn't nearly the cruel person I had accused her of being in my mind. In fact, she listened, she began to understand why he acted like he did. I vowed to make sure I spent more time with him each evening filling his "attention tank" at home and she vowed to listen more to him, even when he was annoying her. The teacher called me a few weeks later to tell me how calm he had become and how much better behaved he was.
I share this story because you will be going to parent teacher conferences this month or maybe you are a teacher who will be meeting with parents. I want to tell you that I don't believe there are naughty children, or obnoxious children--they are children who have needs, who have been beat up by life or who need things we don't yet understand.
Instead of getting caught up in the language of "good child vs bad child" I hope we can, teachers and parents together, look deeply at each child and if they are struggling for any reason, try and discover what they need and how we can meet that need.
All children are our blessings--some are easier than others to enjoy but they all deserve to be heard and understood. In these days of labels and diagnosis, I hope we will have the wisdom to look deeply at the life of each child and discern their deepest needs--when those are met, even the naughtiest child can be a great joy and delight.
Patience, time and listening will help our children name their needs and find solutions! | | | Permalink | Trackback |
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