It seems that many parents worst fear these days is that they will spoil their kids and create these little bratty beings that no one wants to be around. We all know kids like this--ones that are so ill tempered and want their own way that they end up friendless and lonely.
There is a difference I think between spoiling and loving.
Spoiling results from giving our child everything they desire, especially "things" like toys, candy, money. Giving a child "things" each time they want it leads to spoiled kids. They do not learn patience, they do not learn how to handle the word "no," and they do learn that they deserve anything and everything they ever want.
Loving a child means giving the child the things they really need such as a listening ear, unconditional love, honest feedback and our time. This teaches a child that they are valuable, that they matter and that whether or not they have the newest and best everything, they are just fine the way they are!
The problem is that loving a child takes much more energy and time than simply spoiling a child and we as a society have become so accustomed to rushing, multi-tasking and working long hours, that we simply haven't left space for our children's need to be loved.
I invite each of us to ask ourselves these questions: What am I giving my child---things or love? Am I spoiling my child with things because I haven't created spaces in my life to truly be with my child and love him/her? And finally...How can I create more time to love my child?
I truly believe that if we all took the time to be with and truly love our kids, we wouldn't have to worry about spoiling them. They would be so filled with love that their need and desire for things would go down significantly.