I just returned from spending two weeks with my newestgrandson! I got there as soon as I could and I arrived while he was less than24 hours old. It is precious time holding and caring for a newborn.

It was also precious time to think and, as Mary did, whenshe gave birth to her son, Jesus, “ponder.”  One of the lessons I was pondered as I held this tiny personwas about forgiveness and anger.

It is the “job” of a newborn to let those around him knowwhen they need something. This is how they survive. They need food and theycry. They need sleep and they cry. They need a diaper change and they cry! Wetried to respond to him as fast as we could, but because he has two siblings(both under age 4) we could not always get to him as fast as we would haveliked.  We also could not alwaystell what he was crying for.  Hiscries would start quietly and then grow into screams!!!!

But as soon as we would discover the problem and “fix it’ byfeeding him, burping him or changing his diaper, he would settle down, becomecontent and you would have never known that only seconds before he wasdistressed and angry!!

I was thinking about the times I have been distressed. Whenthings are going badly for me and when I need something, I hold in my pain.Instead of crying and wailing, I look for someone to blame!  And blame, I do!! My pain is causedbecause someone doesn’t care about me…they don’t understand what I need…theyare selfish. And I get angry!!

Then when the person I have blamed tries to make it all rightagain, I am so angry I cannot forgive them.  I hold onto the pain long after the situation has beencorrected.

I want to be more like an infant. I want to stop holding inmy feelings and express my pain openly and honestly. And more than that, I wantto stop getting angry and blaming those around me for “my pain!”

My grandson would get upset, but he did not blame us… accuseof not caring… or hold a grudge because we did not do what he needed in thetime he felt he needed it. 

 Jesus told us to “become like children.” I am challenged tobecome like a newborn and stop letting my anger and blame prohibit me fromletting go of my hurt and to get in the way of forgiving those who ask and needit!