Like all of you, my heart just breaks for all the victims of the earthquake in Haiti! And as one who works with children, I am concerned about our children who are watching and worrying as well! Below are some thoughts and suggestions I have to help our kids cope and heal from this event! I hope they are helpful for you!
First: The language of children is a symbolic language. Words do not matter to them nearly as much as pictures! Remember that even if they are playing and not listening to the T.V., chances are they are seeing images... powerful images of the earthquake and these can be very frightening for them. My first advice is to turn off the T.V. as much as possible. I do not think we can or need to shield our kids completely from the event, but watching it... seeing these images for hours a day is simply too much for their little souls to handle!
Second: Children wonder if these events might happen to their family. They wonder if they will ever be the picture of the child who needs to be adopted because their parents have died. They wonder if their house is strong or if it will fall down. It is important to sit down and ask our kids how they are feeling and if they have any fears. Often they will be comfortable drawing you a picture of their fears rather than using their words alone to tell you. Then address their fears one at a time. Remind them that your house is very strong...let them feel the walls and outside to see how strong it is. Assure them that if anything ever happened to you, you have a plan for someone loving, not a stranger, to care for them.
Third: Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle! There is nothing more reassuring and comforting than your hugs! You can tell your kids how much you love them and that you will care for and protect them simply by holding them! Your actions will speak louder than your words! And in times of stress, touch brings a comfort nothing else can!
Fourth: Find active and positive ways they can respond to the crisis. This will help them realize that while there is nothing they can do to "fix" it and there was nothing they could do to prevent it... they can help heal those who are hurting! Show them the check you are writing to help the people of Haiti! Create a Haiti care kit (instructions can be found at www.gbod.org) and send much needed personal items to the people of Haiti. This gives the children an active and positive way to respond and empowers them to help rather than simply watch!
Fifth: Pray! Jesus told us that God's angels in heaven behold the faces of children... God's angels hear the prayers of children in special and powerful ways!!! There are many ways you can pray for the people of Haiti! You can get a map or globe and point to Haiti and pray. You can light a candle each night and ask God to shine God's light on the people who need it! You can give your child a special prayer journal and let them draw or write prayers for Haiti.
And remember! As difficult as it is to watch our children be afraid and worried about others in crisis, these are opportunities for them to learn about compassion, the power of prayer, responding to the needs of others with love, and if we keep watching... eventually they will see that healing follows even the most devastating situations! And that is the message of Christ. He lived, died and he resurrected! And so it is with crisis and pain... it might feel as helpless as death... but God is at work, through all of us, and the resurrection (hope & healing) will follow!
You are a caring and beautiful parent, or you would not be reading this blog! Your love will surround your child and they will be okay.... and God alone knows what experiencing this crisis and responding to it will do as it shapes them into loving, caring and compassionate people!
A Note for Pastors and Those Who Work with Kids:
Everything listed above can be done in groups as well as by individuals. I encourage you to do "something" though! We tell our children on a regular basis that we are the hands of God! This is a perfect opportunity to put our theologies into action! By doing "something" in response to Haiti, we will empower children to "be" the hands, the feet and heart of Christ!
Do not think that they are somehow immune from this, or are not aware of it. They see the images, they hear their parents talking, and they feel the sadness and fear of those around them! Do something to empower them and allow them to respond and make a difference!! Below is a description of what we are doing at First UMC, Colorado Springs, where I serve as Children's Minister.
At my church, our children are doing three things! First we gave them a little prayer journal for Haiti. It has a flag, map, and pictures of people from Haiti to color and a place to write or draw their own prayers. Second, much of the way the people of Haiti pray is by singing festive music, marching in the streets and playing rhythmic instruments. I found Haitian music on i-tunes and we had a children's worship service for Haiti. We made the shape of the country of Haiti in the middle of the circle of kids, gave them each something to play (drums, sticks, bells) and we played the Haitian music and allowed to pray through making music! It was powerful... beautiful... and they left feeling hope instead of despair! And third, we are making kits to send to Haiti.
Blessings as we all cope and heal from the pain of this disaster and bless you for caring for the kids of your congregations and lives... they often get left out and feel ignored during times of crisis ... recognizing their fears and helping them respond in active and positive ways is a blessing! You are a blessing!